While the goal of a fictional vampire is to harvest blood from their victim, energy vampires (aka emotional vampires) are after our life force. They often start off with flattery, doing nice things for us, or they may shower us with gifts or attention. Then all of a sudden they pull a switch and become controlling, criticizing, or display an over developed sense of attachment. They may even play the ‘victim’ and attempt to get you to rescue them.
The controlling type may do something that seems nice such as offer you a ride to the airport, or make you dinner. But if you refuse they get angry. Getting you to do what they want (controlling you) is how they are ‘fed’ energetically. When you say ‘no’ it upsets them as they don’t get their ‘fix’. Do what you can to resist their suggestions and commands. When you resist enough, they will move on to another host.
The criticizing style will put you down, and aim to inflict emotional and/or psychic pain to you. It’s not necessarily conscious on their part. But unconsciously they know that if they can hurt you, inflict some pain somehow, they can get you to bleed energetically. The life force that leaks out of you when you receive the pain is the ‘blood’ they feed on. If you try to explain to them how they just hurt you, they will put you down for it. Try not to let them hurt you (or don’t show it) as that is how they are fed.
The type of vampire that is emotionally over-attached, or plays victim, will be after you for emotional support. They may try to get you to favors for them or act on their behalf. They may even try to borrow money, or just talk your ear off with their problems, but yet they will not accept any solutions. Their favorite game is ‘yes, but…’ They may try to get your on their side (when there really is no ‘side’ to take) or become jealous. Their main goal is trying to create a feeling of intimacy (though obviously not in a healthy way), as this is how they feed. Avoid rescuing them, and set firm limits with your time and boundaries. For the chronic talker, interrupt them and redirect the conversation.
Sometimes we can be our own worst vampire! Having internalized voices from our past, our own inner critic may take over and harvest our energy, sucking the life out of us internally. Changing our thought patterns and redirecting them to self love is key. Find what lights you up internally and generate as much of that as possible.
Situational vampires can be such things as a job that does not fit your true nature. Going against your instincts and doing what you think you ‘should’ be doing, rather than what fits who you truly are, can truly drain the life force from a sensitive soul. Follow what literally ‘lights you up’ to generate more chi.
Most energy vampires are not acting consciously. They are wounded souls who have learned that the only way to get any energy is by taking it from others. They need to learn how to get their nurturance from source, their own life; not from you.
SIGNS YOU HAVE BEEN DRAINED BY AN EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE:
• You feel tired and exhausted after being around them
• Feeling cheated, resentful, anxious or shut down after being around them
• Experience the feeling of being ‘slimed’
• Loss of mental energy
• Physical strength decreases by as much as 50%
• Weight gain due to binge eat to relieve stress from being drained by another person. A binge on comfort foods is an attempt to feel better or ‘get your energy back’. Someone has just fed on you, now your instinct is to be fed. But it’s not really food we need, it is protection from the energy sucker.
• Inability to think clearly
• Short term memory declines
• Exposure can take a day or weeks to recover
According to the research of Dr. Joe H. Slate, Ph.D., Kirlian (aura) photography shows that during an attack the emotional vampire reaches out to the victim via a tentacle like structure that then punctures and draws energy from the victim’s aura. This expands the vampire’s aura, showing as increased light in the Kirlian photography, and constricts the victim’s aura decreasing their light aka energy. The ‘puncture wounds’ can then take days or weeks to heal. Long term effects of prolonged exposure can cause serious illness in the victim.
Dr. Gillian Holloway echoes a similar sentiment: “Sadist (energy vampire) attacks seem to leave lasting scars, and one of them can be a reduced ability to ‘hold a charge’ as the mystics say. Physical conditioning and breathing meditations can build up your ability to hold your own energy in a powerful way, and to get used to feeling powerful again.” Here are some more tips on how to regain power.
STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES:
• Say no to the favors they offer
• Do not rescue the
• Redirect the conversation
• Breath deeply
• Resist their suggestions or commands
• Stay emotionally neutral; they are trying to get you to react as it feeds them
• Say “I’m sorry, but I can only talk for a few minutes”
• Say “I hate to interrupt, but…” then interrupt them
• Say “Thank you for your suggestion, I’ll consider it”. Then do what you want.
• Move around while they are talking to you
• Avoid eye contact
• Do not replay their attacks in your mind
• Try not to hurt when they attack; it feeds them
• If you are able, do some physical exercise as it moves energy through the body
• Set firm limits and boundaries
• Speak loudly, firm and clear
• Stay centered and calm
• Imagine yourself surrounded by an impenetrable bubble of white light that protects you
• Talk to them in your mind, for example: “I am in charge of my energy, and you cannot have it.”
• Imagine their energy in the shape of a ball. Push the ball away from you and send it back to them.
• Cut the psychic/energetic chords between you
• When we are drained our energy travels upward (i.e. ‘riled up’ vs. ‘calmed down’). Imagine a bird whose feathers get ruffled, as a metaphor for how this person has riled up your energy. Now imagine the bird’s feathers smoothing down, as your energy calms down and you are able to center and rebalance yourself.
Mimi Pettibone is a Certified Transactional Analysis Practitioner who specializes in dream interpretation, relationships and communication skills. She offers classes and consultations in Seattle, WA and offers private consultations by phone as well. Mimi host bi-monthly telephone dream groups, where members engage in a group process of dream exploration. To join the telephone dream group, go to www.meetup.com/DreamGroup and click ‘join’ to receive calendar updates of upcoming groups and events and to RSVP.